Tuesday, October 25, 2011

This Is Hard

Ahhh the joys of motherhood...there are many for sure. When I was pregnant I had dreams of my lovely Lil Sweet Pea cooing at me with her little cherubic face, holding her in my arms lovingly, singing sweet songs to her as she looked up with her big eyes and smiled at me....

This dream lasted right until we came home from the hospital and then REALITY set in. My sweet angel of a daughter went from a cherub to an absolute demon. Her sweet little coos were replaced by ear shattering screams, and the sleeping angel she was in the hospital has been replaced by an inexplicable confusion over days and nights.


Motherhood is hard. Now for the last ten years I have single- handedly run classrooms with upwards of thirty children, ran a pre-school class that had thirty four 3 and 4 year olds, worked with infants and toddlers, and handled all the stresses of being in a self contained second grade classroom where I taught everything from religion to gym and let me tell you, nothing...absolutely NOTHING I have encountered or dealt with in the last ten plus years has been as hard or as rewarding as this past month.

Motherhood is so much more than I thought it would be. It is 90 % sheer hard work...and 10 % absolute joy on a level I could never imagine. It is the 10% that makes it so worth it.

I have to keep that in mind because I am literally running on fumes right now. I have been going 24/7 with my sweet pea since we came home. She eats every two hours and does not miss a feeding! Everyone says sleep when she sleeps, however, my angel takes almost 45 minutes to eat and then more time to fall back to sleep which leaves maybe if I am lucky an hour to lay down before she is up again...MAYBE.

Tired is an understatement. Why isn't hubby helping you may be wondering?? Ahhhh he was until he wound up in the hospital for over a week with a seriously scary case of Cellulitis on his leg. He is slowly but surely recovering...but pretty is knocked out at night since his job is so physical and he has to work. So Mommy is exhausted needless to say.



But my Lily-Anne is so worth it everyday. When she gives me that one little smile or giggles or coos at me all is good. Exhaustion melts away and I am content. Motherhood is so much harder than I ever thought it would be but it is so much more joyful than I ever thought imaginable!

Much luv!
Laura

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