I have to preface this blog entry by saying that I have enjoyed being pregnant immensely and the past 9 months have flown by rather quickly. But I am approximately 38 weeks now and pregnancy is not quite as fun or as cute as it was a few months back.
I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer" but really in the past week or so things have gotten incredibly uncomfortable, nothing fits comfortably anymore, my back is killing me, my bladder is staging a mutiny, and sleep is basically me flipping from one side to the other and rearranging the pillows all night long. I no longer walk, or even waddle in the cute way I was a few weeks ago..now I lumber like Godzilla...it ain't attractive. My hair is tri colored--meaning I have not been able to dye it in 9 months and now it is a lovely shade of GRAY, BLACK, and Brownish...I look like hell.Oh and I am a bit more cranky than usual (okay a hell of a lot more cranky!) and I am at the point where as terrified of labor as I am, I would like to just have the baby now.
And on top of all these lovely things I am emotional as hell. Thus the title of this post. I feel incredibly left out. I can't do anything anymore. Its a struggle just to walk around our mall and our mall is TINY!!! UGGG...but on top of all this, hubby and the teenager joined Karate.
I always wanted to try martial arts. I am feeling very left out because obviously I cannot join now and will not be able to join anything like that for several weeks after the baby is born. (And in all honesty--am I going to be able to do it then anyways?? I think I am going to be preoccupied with a newborn...) But anyways, the crux here is that I ALWAYS wanted to learn it and the hubby knew that and he joined with out me and then of course the teenager thought it sounded cool so she joined up two days later. Now it is all they talk about. And it makes me mad. I can't do a darn thing and they are out there three days a week learning all this cool stuff while I am stuck at home feeling like a fat slug. I admit it --I am jealous and it makes me feel awful. I hate feeling left out.
Hubby said I should definitely join after I am cleared for activity after the baby comes. But by that time hubby will be months ahead of me and I know I will feel like I am always trying to catch up to his level. Not a confidence booster for me. Then hubby says "...and it takes a lot of focus and you get frustrated very easily." Ohhhhhhhhh....great in other words 'maybe you shouldn't try it'....
So feeling left out and feeling like a slug not a good combination. So now I want to find something I can do for myself, that will make me feel good, and give me some time out of the house once the baby arrives. Because I know that I need to take care of me as well as taking care of the baby. I just don't know what I want to try...But I know I have to find something I will enjoy because otherwise I will just continue to feel left out and upset. And I so do not want that to be the case.
So I am off to research post pregnancy activities I can take up after the Sweet Pea arrives!!