Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My Housekeeping Fantasy

You know those big, gorgeous, to die for houses with the huge front doors, the enormous bay windows, the immaculate landscaping in the front AND back yards??? Most people look at those houses and say to themselves "I want that!". Most people dream about owning and living in such houses (and if you are one of the lucky people who do well then God Bless ya!!)Most people drool over those beautiful and large proportioned houses with their 2 and a half baths, 5 bedrooms, a large kitchen filled with the finest stainless steel appliances and a great room with a fireplace. These are the homes showcased on the DIY network or HGTV.

                                                        **Not my home by the way**

Now I look at those homes and the first thing that pops into my mind is "How will I ever keep up on the house cleaning in that house?!!"  I mean seriously I can barely keep my own house clean and it is only a two story little Cape Cod type house.  To be perfectly honest the upstairs is just the teenagers bedrooms so I NEVER go up there. And we don't have a basement. So literally it is one floor to keep clean. A kitchen, a living room, our bedroom, the bathroom, the laundry room and the back office (soon to be nursery).  That is it. I have trouble keeping up with the clutter and cleaning. I didn't even have the baby yet and I have trouble keeping up!

My Hubby is an ex-military guy so you would think he would be a neat freak, right? Ummm noooooo. He is a slob. His clothes never hit the laundry basket. The floor to our bedroom is apparently the laundry basket.  Every day before work I spend a significant portion of my time getting ready picking up his trail of clothes. Sigh.

Also,  Hubby loves to cook. He is a phenomenal cook. He is a fantastic baker. (Confession here: I am an utter disgrace to my Italian heritage and never cook...eek now you know!) I love his meals. I devour them! But Hubby also feels the need to dirty every dish, every utensil, every pot, pan, and other tool used for cooking when he is creating his gastronomic masterpieces. And guess who gets left with the dishes to wash? Yes that would be me.

The teenager likes to leave piles of her crap going up the steps to her room. This stuff never actually makes it to her room unless I physically move it all to the front of her door in hopes that she gets the hint. Sometimes it works...most times the stufff just lays in a pile onthe landing by her door.  Her room is so messy I am afraid of what actually lives in there so more often than not I do not put  things in her room because that would mean having to open the door and that could mean taking my life into my hands.Teenagers have an amazing ability to not see clutter, dirt, or large species of unknown bedroom monsters lurking in their midst. It boggles my mind.

So ever since I found out I was pregnant and would be able to take a year off for maternity leave I have been fantasizing about how I will be home so I will be able to do the laundry, dust the furniture, vaccuum the rugs, scrub the bathrooms, and keep the kitchen clean! It will be great!

I will no longer be making an almost two hour commute each way to work, I won't have papers or projects or lesson plans to do at night, no more open houses, report card conferences, or staff development meetings to attend! I will be home 24/7 and finally I will able to become
"June Cleaver" and keep my house clean and sanitized! It will sparkle like the top of the Chrysler Buildiing, it will gleam like the top of Mr. Clean's head, it will dazzle and amaze my family and friends with how clean and lovely it is! Everyone will oooh and aahhh over how I am able to take care of a newborn and keep my house as clean as the day we moved in!

I lapse into this fantasy quite often. It makes me smile. It has become my happy place in a sea of chaos and clutter. Whenever I come home home and see a sink full of dirty dishes and trash that is overflowing I just stare off into the distance and go to my happy place. Most women fantasize about George Clooney. Not me. No I am fantasizing about a clean house.

                                               **Not my idea of a fantasy!**

Here is my fantasy:

                                           **Look at the polish on that table!! Oh my!!!**

Shhhh DO NOT DISTURB--I don't want to come back to reality!!

Much luv!


  1. I'm with you! I have a 850 square foot, 2 bedroom, no basement I-don't-know-what-style house and we tried to condense 2 full apartments into this little place. Needless to say - no car has ever been in the garage! Also - I only have one oblivious teenager & no babies!
    I dream of a house with no dust bunnies, no clutter and a room that the hubby can call his own (so his radio & computer stuff can get out of the bedroom!) If it happens to be a historic Victorian place with lots of land - all the better!

  2. it's hardest when OTHER people are making the mess. that's the worst!! sorry babe! the only way to keep it clean is to kick the messies out. LOL. good luck!!!